Q: Describe yourself in five words?

Mallard: Heroic, Bespectacled Tetrahedral Starship Commander.

Q: What's your favourite colour?

Mallard: Purple.

Q: Favourite number?

Mallard: Probably 4 - I'm a tetrahedron, after all.

Q: What do you miss most from your life before Fort Paradox?

Mallard: My old house.  The officers' quarters around here are decent enough, but home was comfier.

Q: What do you enjoy most about life on board Fort Paradox?

Mallard: The sense of authority.  It's nice to be taken seriously.

Q: What would your perfect day be like?

Mallard: Oh, I don't know really.  Maybe taking the Fort for an adventure, saving a load of people, and being offered caviar by my grateful beneficiaries.

Q: So is there anywhere you'd especially like to visit?

Mallard: No one place in particular.  I just potter around and tick off as many as I can, in any old order.

Q: And finally: wherever did you find that hat?

Mallard: It was waiting for me on the seat when the computer made me Captain.  Along with a Lord of the Rings-sized instruction manual which I might get round to reading someday.

Q: Thanks for your valuable time, Captain.

Mallard: Don't mention it.